tan me –

like a bronzed beauty

We’ve all been there. You’ve found the perfect ensemble for an event – a killer runway piece, jewelry that fits the bill and a pair of fabulous shoes. Only one thing is missing… that bronzed glow that usually cannot be attained without a jaunt to a tropical island. I’m here to tell you to put your black Amex away and save your dollars, honey, ’cause sister’s got a gold mine of tanning spectacular in my back pocket. Here goes…

So, I was set for the B Street Fundraiser. I had my purple bustier and green harem pants ala Gucci and my clear, gold studded Louboutins. All was good… except for one thing… my terrible tan lines that were rather inappropriately defined on my barren chest. Consider it an ode to skin care specialists everywhere when I say, sunscreen is your friend. It was overcast, and seemed to be the perfect day to sit outside and read in my Missoni one piece. Wrong. 2 hours later, not even my Portuguese/Italian blood could ward off the tomato red sunburn I had so inanely welcomed into my world.

Let’s cut to the chase, weeks later (and I mean weeeeeeks), I still had a very defined, imperfect halter tan line that there was really only one solution. A spray tan.

Here’s where it gets good… I googled local spray tan locations. Many came up, some seemed more legit than others. I wanted the full monty (the kind you see on RHOOC). Perhaps I’d throw in a defined six pack while I was there… why the hell not? BUT wait, then I see in my list of tantastic businesses, a mobile tanning company. Could it be? Sacramento has finally achieved mobile tan status? It is true, friends.

So, I called her. Brandi is her name. She was friendly, professional and offered me a preview into the “experience” via her website, which provided a thorough instructional video by Brandi herself. She showed up with a pop-up tent, exfoliating wipes, lotions and some spraying gadgets and within 20 minutes, I was as bronzey as a penny. No tan lines. Perfection.

Brandi’s Tans makes house calls and charges $45/session. Not bad, folks, when you consider how much you pay nowadays for a mystic tan in some claustrophobic box. She comes to you, she sprays you with a precision no machine can promise and she cleans up when she’s done. Wham, bam, thank you, Ma’am. I mean, Brandi.

Try it. You’ll be tickled brown. Below is Brandi’s pricing and specials:

Prices:
(There may be an extra travel charge depending on location)
Full body spray: $45.00
1 month package: $135.00 (= 4 spray sessions used in 4 week period)
Interested in a FREE spray tan?
  • Host a party with 4 or more girls and yours is FREE and your friends get $5.00 off (call for details)!

– sister

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About sister | brother

sister | brother
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